Tamara Glover

Check out this video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOGtV6XtjbQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player Tamara 

So I showered ... That was a feat. Then I decided to put my new booby bra, tube holder, tank top on. My mom who is trying so vigently to be helpful is very sweet. She won't let me do anything so I have to beat her to it. Then as I'm getting out of the shower I have my tube and little buckets cleverly hooked up to the shower handle. she then unhooks the little bulbs and proceeds to drop them, uhgggg dropping them pulls on the incision where they go into my skin. " huh I think it is fine mom. Just leave it. Then after we load up the tank tops with the tubes and bulbs I decide to put the stuffed boobs into the tank top. It doesn't really look right. The black ones in my hands are what goes into the black tank tops. The White ones are in my shirt and the funky shaped things near my waist are the drainage tube bulbs. Pretty goofy looking. I was laughing so hard I was crying, hurting so bad it made me laugh more. Oh and the leakage, I believe thats just water from my sho...

With the pain medication and antibiotics I am not feeling bad. I just don't feel good. I am achy and lack energy. I don't even want to read books or read my homework assignments. Ugggg It is frustrating. My moms little fluffy dog is sweet and she comes and cuddles on me. Mom is very helpful. Brian stopped by and had dinner with me while my mom went to play cards. He tucked me in before he left. Then Deborah came over for a visit. She tucked me in before she left too. I am getting plenty of sleep which I suppose is good. :-0 ready for a nap now. :-) Have a SUPER day!

So some of you have been asking for pictures. And I don't really mind sharing them. So if you are a bit squeamish do not scroll down.The pain is primarily in the pectoral muscle area. I believe were the expanders where put it. My left arm pit hurts (from where the lymph nodes were removed). I have very little bruising. The swelling is mostly under my arms they left a lot of the skin (I am guessing for the reconstruction) The skin pouch underneath is hard like something is left in there. I will be asking the Dr. about it on Wednesday.

Steve sent me this link to cheer me up one day. I thought it was worth sharing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzpCUuLsxM4

Ok so I can't read my blog because it is so messed up it makes me laugh. Then the laughing hurts and that makes me laugh, then I laugh about how much the drugs must have effected me in order for me to write that way, then that makes me laugh. I was laughing so hard I snorted, which made me laugh. Finally I turned away from the screen and decided I shouldn't read anymore. I didn't sleep as well last night but not bad either. My mom took me to acupuncture. I was very relaxed and came home for a nap. Most of the time when I am napping I am in like a meditation state, because I can hear myself snoring. By the way, I think I am pretty funny. LOL Have a GREAT day.

Ok. At my mom house. We have a place for me on the couch and in the guest room.  her fluffy little dog follows me Around.  I woke up from a nap In pain so I took the other had of a perkaaet at 8. So I don't think il be limiting myself to half a Percocet.  Dad brought us Chinese food. Brian came by to kiss me and make me laugh, which was not very nice since it makes my chest hurt.  I'm ready for bed.  Tamara 

Dr. Hadcock just came in ti check on me. She says everything looks good. She frame some instructions as to rotate and manage the pain medication. She sent me this picture from the operating room just before I was put under.

Dr. Hadcock just came in. She is wonderful. She says sherry Tamara 

We took the iv's out around 10am this morning. I have been sleeping off and on all day. We stopped the inuerveemesis pIn killers are are just trying to figure out which conbintion of muscle relAxer and pain killer. Tamara 

Happy Friday. It's about 24 hours since I'm out of surgery. It took about four hours yesterday. I then took two hours to wake up form anastasia. I know I know that an hour longer than normal. But hey I've got four kids and a hard time relaxing I'm going to milk lying in bed as much as possible. They gave me this pretty pink corset to keep me strapped tight. Mom spent the night with me. Brian had two kids in our bed at home. Needless to say, he is tired too. It is very painful. The muscles in my chest and under my arms hurt. But I look pretty good (not attractive but medically good). There is little swelling and not much bruising. I'm trying to decide if I post the picture of my chest or not. It may freak a few people out. This hospital is amazing. The room is beautiful, the service is outstanding Nd even the food is good. I say it's pretty close to Belagio. LOL. I'm going to pass the phone to Mom so she can tell you about when the doctors came out to tal...

Tamara just got done with surgery and Dr. Hadcock indicated there were no signs of cancer. She will wake up in an hour. Brian

Brian and I are sitting in the waiting room. My paperwork was already filled out (I told them that). I asked them. "Do I really need to be there that early when everything is done?". "oh yes, we will start your iv yadayadayada". I even told her I didn't want to sit in the waiting room all anxious. I think people show up late so they ask us to be here early. Oh well, it gives me time to update you all :-) Have a super day. Don't worry about me. I have all your positive prayers and thoughts as well as my own, plus good drugs :-). See you soon. Tamara 

Thank you all for sending me hugs and prayers. I have received your texts, voicemails and emails. Sometimes I cry, mostly I smile and feel so fortunate to be surrounded by so many amazing and considerate people. The offer to be with me, and help me is so very meaningful I can't describe my gratefulness. The babysitter and Brian do the cooking so nothing will change there for the kids. So I don't really need meals. What I want is to have a big celebration and give you all a hug when I am up for it. I went to Diane today (energy healer). Orange is the color of healing so I am supposed to surround myself with orange and visualize running orange color throughout my body. We practiced telling my body what is going to happen tomorrow and that my body should accept the foreign elements (implants etc) and be receptive to the treatments and healing. Diane suggested I get an orange blanket. My mom and Brian will be at Fresno Surgery Center with me. I appreciate the offers of others to co...

EmmaLena put one on each side of me.

Ok so I am back in the mode of not really wanting to talk and wanting to avoid the reality of cancer. I am laying in bed searching for peace and quite. I'm second guessing the surgery, maybe it doesn't need to be so drastic. When I logicaLly look at my options and the odds, I make the same decision. I don't think I'm scared of the surgery so much. Just anxious. The one thing I am sad about is loosing sensation or sensitivity in my breast. I think that is my biggest issue. How weird. The babysitter took care of the kids this morning. They all came in to talk to me, Isaac and EmmaLena multiple times. I told them I was just relaxing looking for some alone time. They were very good. Isaac locked the dogs up and took care of some things, Declan practiced piano. They all did there karate practice because I could here them yelling there eya. EmmaLena at one point and said she was going to get me something. I got a little short with her and said "I just want quite". ...

I really enjoyed the massage today. It was very deep tissue! I believe he could do less pressure, but I liked it. :-) He has a very interesting technique, he worked all the tight tense muscles throughout my neck, jaw and shoulders. Then he did a combination of pressure points, rocking and long stokes, did great work on my feet (he is a refloxologist also)

I have been wearing scarves mostly because of the heat and when I shave my head the wigs are itchy. I put on a wig the other night and walked into the kids bedroom to say goodnight. EmmaLena says... Mom, looking good. I had a lunch meeting foe work today and wore a wig all day. I received numerous compliments (and I thought this wig was boring). When I came home the kids talked about my wig asked me to take it off ( I think it looks so natural EmmaLena might have thought my hair grew back already. Laura says "I like this one the best". Benjamin in true male fashion says "yeah but the long one with the curls at the end... That one looks good.". Boys and long hair :-) It is so nice to be feeling good. I missed it!!!!

I am a bit anxious this week. I am trying to stay calm but there is a lot going on this week. My insurance stalled approving my MRI so its on Wednesday. I did blood work today. Chest Xray tomorrow. Isaac has an orthopedic and orthodontist appointment, Delcan has an orthodontist appointment (Mom's taking him, thanks). I NEED A MASSAGE. :-) Trying out someone who specializes in deep tissue and pain management. Wrapping up some things for work but working primarily from home. Construction started on the addition which I haven't had to really deal with (Thank you Leta and Brian) at all except for we temporarily don't have power to the spa. :-( I just really need toy stay busy anyway so its all good. So surgery is on Thursday at the Fresno Surgery Center. I have to be there by 6am, start procedures by 7:30am. They say the surgery should take about 4 hours. Dr. Hadcock is doing the Mastectomy and Dr. Zunniga does the reconstruction, expander implants. From what I und...

So it is weird. My hair started falling out 20 days after my first chemotherapy treatment. Today is the 20th day after my last chemotherapy treatment. Yet, my eyebrows have stubble which means it's been on it's way for a little while. The back of arms are getting those little bumps back (darn it). My hair on the top of my head always was stubbly so I shaved it, so I can't tell there. The downside to ending chemo... I will have to start waxing again. LOL

I decided not to go to Temple for Yom Kippur this year, for multiple reasons. Saturday morning Brian took Declan to his first Soccer game. After breakfast, EmmaLena, Benjamin, Isaac and I rode bikes to the Soccer game. Brian and Declan passed us as they were headed home. Guess eating, getting ready, pum ping up the tires etc took longer than I thought. :-) It is so nice to live close to school funtions. I am really enjoying it. So the next game (Declan had two games on Saturday and one of Sunday) I drove EmmaLena, Benjamin and I and Isaac rode his bike. I took lots of pictures (lov e that), EmmaLena and Ben played on the jungle gym and Isaac hung out for awhile before riding his bike home for some food and a tv show. At 2:00pm Isaac had his Football game. Brian dropped him off early for warm ups and then came home to workout and get me. We went to watch the game (babysitter was with the other kids for some chores and zone out time). I really enjoyed that too. I love taking the picture...

So far our team consists of the following: Deborah Reba - acting Captain Mara Hocker Andrew Tinseth Rhonda Lacy Rebecca Tinseth Alyson Tinseth Tamara Glover CAPTAIN Brian Glover Isaac Glover Declan Glover Benjamin Glover EmmaLena Glover Mona Kohl Charles Kohl Liz Shields Bill Cummings If you want to walk with us please go to the website and register: http://centralvalley.info-komen.org/goto/ pink-A-licious You will receive a tshirt from Susan G Komen. If you would like a Pink-A-Licious shirt also please let me know. Rebecca is working on the details and will have a price shortly.

http://centralvalley.info-komen.org/site/TR?team_id=141373&fr_id=1801&pg=team To join the team or donate money you can access the webpage link above. There is a t shirt included in your registration fee. Our team will have special Pink-A-Licious tshirts also if you would like to buy one. More of those details to come. The race is on October 23rd. Saturday, October 23, 2010 California State University, Fresno Maple Mall/Satellite Student Union Note: In compliance with California State University, Fresno License Agreement according to item: 12b. No animals of any kind (except service dogs as defined by California Civil Code Sections 54.1 and 54.2) may be present at any event where attendees number 1,000 persons or more, unless animals are functionally part of the event (e.g., livestock shows, equestrian competitions, cat and dog shows, etc.). For the safety of all participants, pets and rollerblades are not allowed . Thank you for your cooperation. Also for your safety, stroll...

My Makeup Artists. Painting the bald ladies faces. :-) http://www.youtube.com/user/tamaraglover#p/a/u/0/F5FaobjI9ug

I have finished chemotherapy treatment (I hope for good) and getting ready for surgery. I am thankful to all the people who have donated money and help raise money in the past. The amazing treatment I have received is thanks to excellence in research and medical developments. Please join me as we continue to raise funds for Breast Cancer research and support. I am coordinating a team to run/walk in the Susan G Komen race for the cure in Fresno. This team will focus on raising money and awareness. Most of all the team will focus on the celebration of life through connecting with others. Lets enjoy each others company while rallying for a good cause. Please join our team. There is a $30 fee for participating in the race. The race is on October 23rd, 2010. You do not have to commit to raising more money then the entry fee. I don't want this to be a burden on people. I want this to be fun and something that people from different aspects of my life will get to meet each other ...

Its the new year. We are making Matza Ball soup. http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=dVht2nyozKg EmmaLena thinks of Granny Rose when she wears her apron. http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=WGfa8w594TQ What a beautiful thing!

So I guess because I was just feeling so "yucky" but not necessarily in pain... I didn't think the drugs would help. When my ear and leg started aching I took a half of perkoset and a decongestant (the doctor said yesterday that my ears are both retracted... not infected but having a hard time balancing so the decongestant should help). It was so nice to feel better. When someone asked I was trying to figure out how to describe what I was feeling. I feel poisoned. I don't know how else to describe it. lethargic, tired but not sleepy, achy, fuzzy headed and sad. The doctor said yesterday that my blood counts looked good. My acupuncturist had prescribed some tea tablets that she felt would help to replenish my system. When my Oncologist didn't get right back to me saying don't take them, I kept taking them. My blood counts actually stabilized rather then decreasing this last round of chemo. I was very excited. Though my Oncologist (Dr. Moffet, who is a...

I found this cool website. http://www.recover-from-grief.com/index.html Though I am not grieving of a loved one dying I think that there may be some similar emotional journeys with other tragedies such as learning you have cancer. I am sure it is not as bad. I just find these stages interesting and helpful to acknowledge. Here is the grief model called "The 7 Stages of Grief": 7 Stages of Grief... 1. SHOCK & DENIAL- You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks. 2. PAIN & GUILT- As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over thing...

It was pointed out to me that I haven't been "blogging" very much. I realized that I have been distracted: By anoyance with not feeling well, life, trying to be "engaged" in my children's lives, work, silly Iphone apps (like words with friends and talking tom), sleeping and ... I am not sure what else. Attached is a video link I made about how I am feeling today. :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=MRs8AVeKnkE&feature=youtube_ gdata The blog thing is a bit weird to me because I know people are reading it but I get very little interaction (comments) on it. I think I have gone from the overwhelmed and not really wanting to connect phase (communicate in mass through the blog) to, I need to connect. For example only having 1 visitor at a time during chemo so that we can really talk. Maybe I should look up the steps to grieving, I wonder if there is a pattern here. So now, the superficial, chity chat conversations are not very important or desirable to me....

EmmaLena - picked me flowers and I took them with me to my Chemo treatment. She walked me to the car and said good have a good day. Chrissy G - My assistant from work. She stopped by to give me a beautiful silk scarf for my head. Lise Rosenthal for making the bonnet hats. Lynda Frances for the injection and chat Deborah (Sis) for checking on me every day Mom (Sandy) for being there when I need you Marni Cotter - I love our talks Rebecca Tinseth - taking care of the details. Breakfast Diners - Michelle Rabin (thanks for organizing), Emma Glover, Rebecca Tinseth, Rebecca Benas (and son), Marni Cotter, Alicia Cowan (from work) Emma Glover - for all the work on the book Brian - letting me sleep in this morning and keeping the hot tub ready :-) Alicia Cowan, Sandy Peterson, Cheryl Gerety, Sandy Garachana, Chrissy and Jackie (from work) for having my back. Treatment visitors - I really liked having 1 visitor at a time. It allows us to take the conversation from chatting to personal. :-) M...

I have been so busy lately its a little crazy. I was trying to cut down on the expense of babysitters since I wasn't feeling as bad. I have been going to work more because its the beginning of the semester and I need to be there to get things kicked off and set up. And I have been trying to make sure and attend the kids football and tae kwan do events. Trying to maintain my commitment to the Rabbi Search committee. Then I ended up with strep throat. Ugggg. I prefer most of the time to go without anything on my head, when I am home. I use the sleeping caps at night but then I have to take them off and put them back on between hot/cold flashes. :-) I keep shaving my head because I don't like the look of the patchy hair growing through. The hats I got through that site you sent me are the best. Thank you so much. Taste buds are dull. Tummy is fine except for when I was on a certain antibiotic. I have to be sure and eat vegetables regularly right after Chemotherapy or I get p...

I was unable to go to school last Saturday because I was sick. I was also unable to make it to Isaac's first 3 football games (carnival). Papa took Isaac to football, Brian went to class and I stayed home with my antibiotics and worked with 2 new babysitters (each half day) to show them the ropes. It worked out pretty good. Isaac didn't get to play the first two games. Brian was able to get to the third game after class and he got to watch Isaac play. I got the first text... "Glover catches pass and scores touchdown" WHOEEEEEE. Second text .... "Glover sacks quarterback" - so he is playing both offense and defense on the 5th quarter team (first year players, play first year players) Third text... "Isaac tackles breakaway runner" I was updating the kids at our house and trying to contain my excitement. I was hoping Isaac would like football. He didn't seem to get real excited about baseball and soccer, even though he was good at both. ...

Emma has done a wonderful job of pulling all your letters together. I have created a photobook through Shutterfly. This is how I am going to print out the book. I have attached a link below so that you can look at the rough draft. I still need to go through and do some formatting, add more pictures and hopefully add a lot more letters. Please take the time to write up something. It can be short. Its so fun and uplifting for me to read the things that people remember about me or our interactions. You can email them directly to me at this point 2tamaraglover@gmail.com. Or if you want help with the "writing or editing" then you can send it to Emma at emma.glover@att.net http://share.shutterfly.com/ action/welcome?sid= 8AbOWjZw4ctWqo You're invited to view my photo book at Shutterfly. Enjoy! This is the rough draft of the photobook Emma, all of you you have sent in letters and I have been working on. If you havn't written anything yet, I thought seeing others comm...