Tamara Glover

Yesterday the first day I’ve been alone since my husbands death.   I made breakfast for the kids and drove Lena to the bus stop with Baloo. Trying to get the puppy used to the car. He finally put his head out the window like a normal dog.  I spent the morning talking on the phone to a few close friends and my mom. Touching base with my sister via text and planning a few visits from friends and family.  First time I’ve  spent that much time on the phone “socializing” in 21 years.  I worked, took Lena and I to the dentist, worked again. All in all it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Primarily because I was really busy and have wonderful people checking on me and reaching out.  I am so thankful for the touching base emails, texts, calls, cards, and gift baskets. The baskets of fruit, snacks and Ice cream have been awesome. We received a lavender wreath that smells and looks beautiful.  I have never experienced such an outpouring of support be...

1/26/19 It is not today I dread. There is much to do. Family and friends are close. Reaching out to offer support and lend a hand. Food is being provided, Love is being sent and many people stand ready to help. For that I am so very grateful.  Most importantly the five of us huddle close. Safe in the cocoon of love we have for each other and the love we share for their father, my husband. We are together. Processing, sharing, consoling, laughing, trying to find distraction. Always though, we come back to each other. To share our grief, our stories, our questions. Why is he gone?  It is the months ahead that worry me. When the feeling that he is just gone for a trip subsides. When the hope that maybe we will wake to see him at the table, drinking his water or coffee and reading on his iPad. When the realization that his knowledge, wisdom, strength, timeliness, drive, support, hugs and amazing cooking has left this realm. That day, scares me.  On that day. W...

Meal Preparation and cooking: Brian was a fabulous cook. He talked to me about his plans for making dinner over coffee in the morning. We ate a well balanced, beautifully prepared dinner with fresh vegetables almost every night. I would throw parties and Brian would cook for them. He would produce a spread that was delicious and appealing. Brian is gone.  I haven’t cooked for our family in the last 15 years.  I am known in our house as the left over queen. I’ll wrap a tortilla around almost anything and call it good.  My concern is how to continue to feed our family these healthy, balanced, delicious meals over the next three months and beyond. We need to develop habits of planning and cooking meals. Currently we just don’t have that skill set in our house. We need to be taught to prepare and cook fresh healthy meals.  So my request is this: Yes please sign up to provide a meal (link below, thank you Michelle) to help provide food for us a couple times a ...

Brian was an avid reader. A collector of information, a student of history and a story teller.  He would read books multiple times and was proud of his book collection.  Beginning when I had cancer in 2010 Brian and I drafted our will, discussed our wishes regarding our death and updated our estate through the years. He didn’t want a service or a party. “Having a Party is your thing, not mine”, he would say to me.  Over the last few days. Many people have reached out. Sharing a memory. Expressing their gratitude for Brian’s generosity, cooking or kindness. Sharing how he spoke so lovingly of his family, of me. All wanting to honor Brian and his memory.  Once he said to me. “Some speak ill of me. Saying things that may or may not be true for their own reasons.” “I would hope to be remembered for my actions. As I always tried to do what is right. Tried to do what was right for others and always for my family.” Brian did not want a funeral service. ...

I met with Dr. Stone. Green Tea - life span of the effects of drinking green tea 2 or 3 hours within the body. It helps prevent the formation of new blood vessels by the tumor. In order to avoid the excessive caffeine re-brew the same tea bag. She said it will continue to brew the antioxidants etc but will run out of caffeine. Melatonin - Will help with sleep and reduces breast cancer re-occurrence - start with 3 and work my way up to 20 milligrams gradually. Black Coash -also believed to reduce roccurance of cancer and will help with the Hot Flashes Tamareck - is a mushroom that will help keep my (blood?) counts up. I obviously didn't take very good notes on this one. She is also prescribing something that will help counter the Neuropathy (nerve damage) that the taxotere may cause. I didn't get the name.